So here’s the deal: Whenever I go to a spa in a different country, I am reminded that the most essential things are never mentioned in travel guides. We all know there is a spa etiquette – but that’s something nobody talks about, it is considered common knowledge.
But come on, I am German! We are famous for our habit of getting naked everywhere and constantly. Which is why when I was little, I started to undress the minute I entered the tube. When I got married, I had to promise to Mr. R. though, that I would stop this.
When you go to a German spa, everybody is naked. We sit in the sauna – naked (on our towels, of course!). We sweat in the steam room – naked. We take a dip in the pool – naked. Which can lead to peculiar situations. Like when you bump into a superior there. Next time you meet, you can always picture his weeny. Or you know that your colleague is not too keen on bikini waxes.
I mean, we are not as crazy as the Scandinavians who like to whip each other with birch bunches and run around outside after a trip to the sauna before jumping into the nearest lake. Yeah, how is that for weird?
But especially my fellow Germans from the “new German Laender”. (Funny thing, we still call the Eastern German states “new”. The wall came down in 1989. If anyone still owns a car from that year, I am pretty sure that he or she doesn’t call it new anymore.) But that’s beside the point. People in Eastern Germany like to go to nudist beaches. Maybe because that was where they actually felt free. I personally don’t see any advantage in playing beach volleyball naked. (Not that I would know how to play.) Or in preparing dinner naked. I like to wear bikinis on the beach, and I prefer to see other people wearing swimwear, too, because let’s face it: Not all Germans look like Heidi Klum or… Is there a sexy German male??? There must be, but I cannot think of any.
Well, so there I am. A child of naked culture. In the US I learned very fast that you better don’t get naked. All those movies must be pure propaganda, I have never met so many prudes as in the States. In Croatia my dear friend Miss K. and I encountered a whole nudist society which totally freaked me out. In Canada I saw nude bikers – not a pretty sight, but I don’t think (nor hope) they are representative for Canadians. People seemed to keep the clothes on most of the times, thank heavens.
So how about Mexico? Ever since I went to the spa the first time, I was mostly either alone or surrounded by swimsuits wearing Americans. I have no idea about Mexican spa culture. And our travel guides cover everything from “business hours” to “water”, but nothing about spas. Even online I couldn’t find anything apart from the fact that in Guatemala “everything goes”. It’s time somebody sheds light on the dark to help us poor confused naked Germans!