There’s no time like the holidays for a good complaint!

I wished I could start this post by saying “It’s tourist season at the Mayan Riviera”, but of course, it is always tourist season here. But since I have my parents over at the moment, my daily routine has changed a bit, and sometimes I can’t get away from the hustle and bustle.

I said it before, and I will say it again: Tourists are a weird bunch. And yes, I am aware of the fact that I, too, am a tourist when travelling, and probably I, too, turn into an even weirder individual than usual. If that’s possible. But right now, I am just a keen observer, and tourists never fail to astound me.

Overhearing some conversations between tourists, it seems that many people come here with solely one purpose: Complaining. Luckily, there are many things that make complaining easy:

Such a wonderful opportunity to complain!

Such a wonderful opportunity to complain!

The weather. When people plan a trip to the Cancun area, they expect the weather to be a certain way. Strangely enough, sometimes the weather has its shortcomings. For some it is too cloudy. Or too sunny. For others too windy. Or too hot. Or too cold. Or too humid. Or too grey. Or too bright. Although this might sound petty to you, it turns out to be a serious matter, and many tourists expect a price reduction as compensation.

Some Caribbean lunch - not your regular Taco Del Mar snack, or so I believe.

Some Caribbean lunch – not your regular Taco Del Mar snack.

Food. It is a shocking fact: Food abroad never tastes like home. People can get very grumpy when they don’t find their beloved TexMex grub that they were so much looking forward to. In this part of Mexico, you will find Caribbean cuisine that has nothing in common with what you get at Mexican fast food chains in the US. You can get the most amazing seafood dishes (and meat, too, of course) prepared with lime, cilantro, coconut, chili and mint. Of course, you will also find taquerias, but a lot of tourists (mainly Americans, I have to say) complain that those Mexicans there don’t know a thing about Mexican tacos & Co. Yeah, sounds about right.

Speaking of food: Another popular reason to be grumpy throughout one’s vacation is the ever-present threat of vicious food poisoning! People are highly suspicious of the food they are being served. It is downright impossible that viral infections cross the US-Mexican border. Or that your child’s stomach can’t cope with 5 milk shakes by the pool. If you get sick in Mexico, you can always, always be sure it is food poisoning. It is almost a miracle how we poor expats can survive.

Animals also prove to be a delightful source of irritation. Why the heck does nobody fumigate the jungle? Life would be a lot easier without mosquitos & friends. And if it weren’t for those stupid crocodiles, we could even go for a swim in the lagoons. Wildlife is not only dangerous, but also highly annoying.

Other tourists are also a constant nuisance. No matter how many deckchairs might be provided, you can be sure that there will always be two families haggling over one. If you are lucky, you get to see a fist fight even.

And then there are those darn children. Honestly, who lets all those families out? Families shouldn’t be allowed to take a vacation, after all, their whole life is a vacation. Vacations are for adults only. Full stop. How is one supposed to concentrate on being grumpy when being distracted by children’s horseplay all the time?

"Horseplay That Causes Accidents is Sabot...

“Horseplay That Causes Accidents is Sabotage” – NARA – 514528 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Spam Alert, Part II

Time to empty my spam file again, but not without acknowledging the most creative approaches, of course:

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