Botox anybody?

Recently, I went to see an ophthalmologist. He’s a nice guy, and we were talking and laughing – and then it happened: He took a step back, squinted, and suggested botox injections around my eyes. Say what? I was flabbergasted. Not because I had been unaware of those dozens of laughter lines around my eyes, but because I kind of like them and never thought that anybody would actually find them ugly. I replied that I didn’t mind the lines, and now it was his turn to look confused. Then he shrug his shoulders and said, well, yes, Europeans always went for a more natural look.

However, this conversation got stuck in my head. As you can imagine, I spent a good amount of time in front of every mirror I came across, squinting, smiling at myself, looking at myself from every possible angle and in various lights and came to the conclusion that I still like those lines and would never consider botox. Don’t get me wrong, I am all pro plastic surgery. If I was married to a plastic surgeon, I would by now look like Angelina Jolie. At least if I managed to move to a different continent and not see my family for a while because having a new face must be worse than wearing a new sweater. I already hate it if somebody asks me, “Oh, is that new?” And I always go like, “Oh no, I’ve had that forever. Really, just an ugly old thing lying in the back of my drawer.” Silly, huh? Are you the same? So just imagine me being asked, “Oh, is that a new face you are wearing?” I would probably photoshop a few old pictures to back me up when I say, “Oh no, I’ve always looked like Angelina Jolie, you just never noticed.”

So, yes, I would change probably everything about me if a plastic surgeon fairy turned up and all it needed was a tip of her wand. But that’s just because I would want to be prettier, not younger. If there is one thing that I never really understand it’s why people are so obsessed with youth. Doesn’t it say a lot about our society that it appears more desirable to be young than to be experienced? People would rather be 20 and stupid than 60 and experienced.

I know, they say it has something to do with fertility. Men would rather jump women who look like they could be the mother of their child. But which woman in her right mind would like to get jumped and impregnated by strange men? So what is our obsession with youth? We all fall prey to it at least every now and then otherwise we wouldn’t spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars per year on anti-aging products. You can hear delighted giggles and see blushing cheeks when a woman gets a compliment on how young she looks. And yes, I admit when I look at pictures on FB of friends or classmates I haven’t seen in a long time, I kind of feel relieved when I can see that they, too, have gotten older. Of course, we all want to look our best as long as we can, but do we really want to get mistaken for a younger version of ourselves? Shouldn’t we rather be proud of the fact that we have survived until now?

I remember when I turned 30, I was so relieved that finally I had crossed this “age line” for saying that I was 29 always felt like saying, “I am still a baby”. However, I know a few women who almost had nervous breakdowns when turning 30. Back then I thought that maybe I would feel that way when I’d turn 40, for in my mind 40 was quite a big step for a woman. Now that 40 is  just around the corner, I couldn’t care less again – but maybe my 50th birthday will bring me to my knees? Maybe then it will be time to go for some botox?

Just in case, though, I came up with a few strategies to feel younger longer:

  1. Surround yourself with people older than yourself. My grandma who will turn 100 this year refers to her 90-year old neighbour as “young woman”. No further explanation needed, right?
  2. If you fail at No. 1, get the people around you drunk. It’s a fact that we find others (and ourselves) more attractive when we are a little tipsy. What other excuse do we need?
  3. Move to a sunny place where you can wear big sunglasses all the time. No wonder old people are all moving to Florida.
  4. Become a rockstar. Rockstars are never ashamed of their wrinkles.
  5. If you fail at No. 4, wear a shirt that says, “I slept with Mick Jagger.” Then nobody will mind your wrinkles, you’ll be cool anyway.

Happy Aging!

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14 thoughts on “Botox anybody?

  1. It’s not the getting older per se that spooks me, the grey hair and the wrinkles I can live with, but it’s when body bits start giving out… my night vision has deteriorated noticeably since turning 40, and the more serious stuff is just around the corner, urgh. But no, I wouldn’t want to be 20 again.

    • Urgh, I agree. Some things are not getting better, I can totally relate to your night vision hassles. And at times, my back has been killing me lately. But those things cannot be fixed by a botox injection anyway, the only solutions are a chauffeur and a good massage, and THAT I can totally live with!

  2. Number 5 is hilarious! I agree with you. I looked forward to the big 0 birthdays, especially 40. Many things are easier the older we get because we’re smarter. The only time I wish I were younger sometimes is when doing martial arts. Best to you.

    • I guess it’s a good thing then I never intended to practice martial arts, haha! I chose yoga and am looking forward to practicing my asanas hopefully until I am 106. 😉 Thanks for your comment and stopping by!

  3. I just love the way you write. Always right on, always funny, and always some wise truth between the lines. Every age has its pros and cons… so why not just enjoy life as it is and live it to the fullest.

    • Thank you, that’s a wonderful compliment! I agree, there are pros and cons to everything. Let’s hope we can manage to age gracefully!
      Thanks for reading! 🙂

  4. Oh Kristin, it’s so great to have you back with fab posts like this, although I can’t believe that your optician suggested you get botox…what a cheek and how rude!!!

    Other than that, this did make me laugh so much. Speaking as someone from the ‘wrong’ side of 50 (just, ha!) I was just wondering, where can I get those ‘I slept with Mick Jagger’ tee shirts?

    Oh, and if it helps, once you get past 40 you are just so grateful to still be here that you really start to live 😉 For instance, last weekend, me, hubby and some friends went to a live rock gig and while rocking out to, oh I don’t know, AC/DC, one of the guitarists came off the stage and started jamming with me! Made my night I can tell you and just goes to show, you are as young as you feel and I felt damn young that night!

    Oh and one more thing, love that about your grandma, wonderful! Follow in her footsteps, as I’m sure you will, and you will be just great Kristin 😉

    • Oh, wow, Sherri, you rock – literally! Sounds like a fun night, just what we need every now and then!
      Well, should we ever meet in person, I will make sure to have such t-shirt for you!
      Yes, I agree, I deeply admire my grandma, she is such a great lady!
      Thank you for your kind words, I am grateful for having readers like you!

      • I love your posts Kristin, I really missed you when you were gone and so glad to have you back 🙂 Oh I would so wear one of those tee shirts, I really would! I would love to see my kids faces, lol 😉

  5. I can definitely get on board with number 2 😉 I’m noticing a few extra lines now but it doesn’t really bother me that much – a good tip is to grow a fringe, hides the worst of the forehead damage! A fringe and big sunglasses and you’re sorted!

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