Run, Baby, Run!

Our housekeepers M&M (whom  I love dearly, I have to add) are always a fountain of wisdom when it comes to raising a child. (Some of you might still remember the pregnancy tips I received.) So, dear mothers, this is for you (and of course for everyone else who finds these old wives’ tales entertaining).

If you want your child to walk, there are 2 options which you might find helpful:

  1. Apply some raw egg white to the hollow of their knees. Don’t ask me why this should work. I asked, but apparently it is just some kind of miracle remedy. I have to ask for a good use for the egg yolk, as I would hate to see it go to waste, though. Maybe applying egg yolk to your left ear will make you better at mathematics?
  2. Put your baby on hot sand. He will run in an instance, they assured me. Really? Maybe we should carry all fat people to the beach on a hot day and have them run, too. Weight loss guaranteed.

I am not old – I am semi young!

Lately, I was talking about euphemisms in my English class – a subject that I find highly entertaining. Not everybody might know what a euphemism is, so here is the definition according to Merriam-Webster:

Euphemism: the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant

Most euphemisms that I could find were related to unemployment, death or the use of the washrooms (ha, see: I’ve already used a euphemism!). Which makes sense, as none of those subjects are very pleasant topics to talk about.

Seminuevo

Now, I do speak Spanish but not to a degree that I would be familiar with a whole lot of Spanish euphemisms, but there is one that I do know very well: If you want to buy a used car, it isn’t called “used” (usado), but “seminuevo” = “semi new”. Now isn’t that nice? I love the idea behind that and decided that once I turn… let’s say 50, I will call myself semi young from then on.”Semi” is a great euphemism builder, don’t you think? No, I am not fat, I am semi slim. No, she is not dumb, she is semi intelligent. No, Dear, my new dress wasn’t expensive, it was semi cheap. I could go on forever with this!

So as you can see, I got a little inspired and came up with more euphemisms for my Mexican everyday life. Here’s my list:

Tardiness: creative time management (the Mexican euphemism for that is “manana”, by the way)

Poor craftmanship: follow-up business guarantee

Unreliability: suspense feature

Leak: automatic water dispenser

Bureaucracy: patience builder

Poverty: creativity enhancer

Waiting: state decreed resting time

 Mexican postal service:mail scavanger hunt

Mexican Letter Box

I think, this will make life so much nicer! What do you think? Any euphemisms you have created and would like to share?